Refresh

Last week was tough for me. The week before I had worked really hard at the gym but had a relatively small loss. That is always discouraging for me. My mother had surgery on Monday and my kids both got sick. That means no schoolwork (homeschool) for them, pretty much all week. My mother is our gym child care so I would have had to go by myself all week which normally I would try to do but with all the obstacles combined with my general discouragement from the annoying results on the scale, I just threw in the towel... sort of. I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted from my healthy foods. No counting at all. I still measured my portions but I know went over my calories by a few hundred each day. And I didn't workout at all. I feel lazy and undisciplined. Blah! I didn't like what I saw this morning but I'm not going to "officially" weigh in until tomorrow. I feel like I should be smarter than to waste a whole week. It was unnecessary.

The bright side of all this is that I didn't eat anything I regret as far as what I ate. I know I ate too much but I didn't lose it completely and get high calorie takeout or anything like that. But the dark side is pretty dark considering how far I still have to go. I didn't learn anything this week that will help me - at least I don't think I did - I just checked out. I feel like I need to go on a diet - lol - seriously. I've been doing this long enough that the way I eat seems very NORMAL to me and I feel like I need to change things and lose some weight. Today feels like a restart of sorts. Like a whole new endeavor to lose weight. I think I need to not think about how far I've come and focus for while on how far I have to go. I think looking back at my accomplishments was contributing to my feelings of boredom, complacency, annoyance with the whole thing. I thing looking back at past success is valuable, but for me, right now, I need to look forward (and in the mirror).

I had a great breakfast, I'm getting a good start on my water, I'm going to the gym tonight, my new iphone is coming today (unrelated but super exciting). Fresh start. There is no room for excuses. Onward and downward.

Goals:

1. Fresh start with all the enthusiasm I had when I first began in June

2. Wear my bodybugg and track all my calories

3. 1200 - 1600 calories with a 1000+ calorie defecit each day

4. Train for the 5K I'm signed up for in April


Weekly update after my weigh-in tomorrow